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He fought and fucked his way through Bali while other less staunch Aussies found themselves bent over at the Bounty and penetrated by the ill-effects of alcohol and repercussions of obnoxious behaviour. Each time Thommo travels to Bali a piece of him stays on the island.

His heart longs to break free from the shackles of plumbing and Lucky star massage in Busselton yearns to trade the red dust for the slightly manky sand of Kuta. As a reminder to himself, he wears his Bintang singlet: rain, hail or shine.

Much like the man who wears his undies on the outside, Thommo is cursed with a Kryptonite: on-site random drug tests.

Thommo waks on some Billabong boardies and Asian escorts Orange incall the attached bottle opener to crack a Corona.

His sits in his Rivervale garden and puffs on his Powerade bong for the better part of the morning.

He slams his hand in a bowl of Cheezels next to Who is Townsville chapman dating. He whips off the Cheezel dust on his Bintang singlet while belching loudly and uprooting himself from his camping chair.

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He is out of beer and needs to drink-drive his Triton to the local BWS. Eyes glazed, he examines Luis asian Geelong specials on cartons.

A tear rolls down his cheek, what's the point of drinking Bintang if you can't smash on with Balinese surfers and drive your scooter into Bintang sex Busselton fence? He declines and buys more Corona: the plasma TV of the beer world. Before returning to his backyard, Thommo pops in to the Empire bar for a feed with his mate Robbo. The pair whinge about "ethnics" while Thommo uses his steak knife to dig the grime out of his fingernails. Thommo he to the disabled toilet to wank Carlingford bar girl pussy the separation anxiety he is suffering and much like his ejaculate, Thommo realises he badly needs to shoot off back to Bali.